How autism can be a disability and not feel disabling

I statements incoming...

I am autistic.

I am disabled.

I am disabled by my autism because even though many of my needs are regularly met, some of my needs are regularly unmet and will remain unmet indefinitely. 

No matter how many accommodations are made for me.

But... 

In a version of the world where my autistic needs could be actively met at all times... I would not consider myself disabled. Even though I'd still be autistic.

Stick with me for a minute if you're willing, because I'm going somewhere with this.

I wear glasses.

I am visually impaired.

Without glasses, I would have a vision disability.

But I do have glasses. Thankfully. 

I am fortunate (and extremely privileged) to have this particular accommodation. One that I am able to rely on at all times.

So, though I do currently have visual impairments, I do not consider myself visually disabled. 

This does not mean that my visual impairments aren't real. 

It also doesn't mean that my visual impairments are not disabling when I don't have access to my glasses. 

And it certainly does not mean that visual impairments should not be recognized as a disability, medically and legally. 

Especially because there are people far more impaired than me who rely on the classification. 

It also says absolutely nothing about how others who have similar visual impairments should feel. 

The way I see my own impairments has absolutely no bearing on how anyone else should feel about theirs.

But if someone told me that I have internalized ableism because I don't consider myself visually disabled, they would be incorrect. 

And if someone demanded that I consider myself visually disabled even though I don't feel disabled, they would be wrong to do so.

And depending on how aggressive they were being, they might cross a line into verbal abuse territory. 

And if someone made claims that how I identify is harming others because I am making sweeping statements and/or suggesting vision impairments should not be considered disabling, they would be mischaracterizing my statements.

Now, apply that same logic to any person who does not feel disabled by their autism.

I personally won't ever not feel disabled by my autism for very specific reasons (mostly sensory related)...

But autism shows up differently for everyone. 

And if someone tells me they don't feel disabled by their autism because all of their needs are regularly met (even if it's due to extreme privilege and accommodations)...

I believe them. 

And so should you. 

Because unless you are a (very) close friend or relative, you can't possibly have enough knowledge of their life to be certain that they are wrong.

And please stop telling people they have internalized ableism. 

It doesn't matter if it's true. 

(And also impossible to know for sure unless you know them personally).

Because it's hurtful. And wrong. 

And it's actively causing harm to people in your own community.

Thank you.