What to do when your distinct anxiety is triggered
In my last post, I talked about distinct anxiety... a type of anxiety specific to autism that can't be explained by any other existing anxiety disorder... and a lot of you felt seen by my post, but then immediately asked what you can do about it.
And I get it...
Because, let's be honest, most of us are just winging it.
And not very well at that.
I say this having had a very scary heart incident about 8 years ago because of long lasting, untreated, and unrelenting distinct anxiety that put me in the hospital for 3 days.
Thankfully, out of sheer necessity, I devised a really effective strategy for dealing with my distinct anxiety. And it has completely changed my life.
Since so many of you asked for solutions, I'm going to share it with you. I sincerely hope it helps.
It's a 4 part strategy...
1. The first thing I do when my autistic anxiety is triggered is figure out if I can get away from the trigger or remove it somehow.
I call this self-accommodation.
Example...
If I'm being triggered by someone playing loud music or chewing really loudly and I'm able to leave the area... that's always my first choice. Because it's by far the easiest and quickest option.
But let's say I'm in an environment I can't leave, then I move to my next best option...
2. I look for ways to modify my environment so the trigger is minimized.
Example...
Wearing noise canceling headphones or sleeping with a fan to drown out outside noise.
Now, these first two options are always preferred because I can usually do them without help.
But let's say the triggers are completely outside of my control. (This happens all the time when I'm traveling. I'll elaborate on this more in a minute).
This is when I move to my next best option.
3. Advocating for myself by asking for accommodations.
This one is harder than the first two options for two reasons...
The obvious one being that people have to be willing to help you. Which, unfortunately, is frequently not the case.
But the other, less obvious reason, is that you have to _know_ what you need in order to ask for it.
Which is why the pursuit of self-understanding is so important for autistic people. But I digress.
Ok, but let's say you can't leave/modify your environment, and an accommodation isn't possible. What then?
That's when I resort to my last option...
4. Using mental strategies combined with breathing techniques so I can tolerate the trigger for as long as it's there.
This is, by far, my least preferred option. But I do use it when I have no other choice. And it does help.
I'll also add that a big part of option 4 is therapy. But only if you have a therapist who understands autism, your personal triggers, and how to help you.
Believe it or not, I'm not actually done yet.
All of the examples I just gave are tied to specific triggers. But, what if the distinct anxiety is due to a combination of many triggers?
Example... travel anxiety.
This is where planning comes in.
For me, this includes planning what to pack so I have all my needs met during my trip... planning where to eat when I get where I'm going... planning what accommodations I'm going to ask for at the airport/hotel, etc...
Basically, planning all aspects of my trip in advance using my 4 part strategy.
And that's it.
Simple, I know.
Jokes aside, I do hope this helps some of you.
It took me years to figure this all out. Hopefully it will save some of you from having to learn the hard way, like I did.
The study that introduced the concept of distinct anxiety for reference...