This might be a hot take, I don’t know, but… 

When we’re struggling with anything in life, we should be taking advice from people who’ve experienced the same struggles as us and have responded to them in the same ways at first… 

Only to have learned better strategies for dealing with them and have successfully improved their lives within the confines of the limitations of their challenges… 

Not taking advice from people yelling at us to just “try harder” and giving us shame-based “advice” who have literally no clue what we’re going through. 

We need strategies that work long-term. 

Not unsustainable short-term strategies that WILL backfire and put us right back to where we started AND make us feel even more shame, desperation, and judgement of ourselves in the process.