“I was trying to pursue an autism diagnosis, but the practitioner told me I can’t be autistic because I’m able to give eye contact”

I hear this a lot, and it frustrates me because not only is it untrue that autistic people can’t give eye contact… if a practitioner is saying this, it’s a major red flag.

First, I want to clarify what the wording about eye content in the DSM is “Abnormalities in eye contact.” It doesn’t say that autistic people CAN’T give eye contact... just that we do it differently than “normal” people do.

So, here’s the deal... eye contact is a learned behavior. And when it comes to autism, just like a lot of things that don’t come naturally or comfortably to autistic people, we ARE able to do it, and we will… if we consider the consequences of NOT doing it a big enough deal.

This is actually a really good example of “autistic masking”… which is a term autistic people use to describe the experience of adjusting their outward behaviors to fit in… or to not stand out.

For me, I can and do give eye contact sometimes… but rarely when I’m the one talking in a conversation. I’m usually only able to focus on giving eye contact when I’m listening… but, when I do… I’m usually thinking about how to do it so I don’t look weird… and at that point, I can’t really focus on what the other person is saying.

I do want to add that even though the DSM does list “abnormalities in eye content” as a characteristic of autism, someone not having this challenge doesn’t automatically disqualify them from being autistic. And on the other hand, just because someone has this challenge, doesn’t automatically mean they’re autistic.

Autism is an extremely complex condition and to properly diagnose someone (or disqualify someone) a practitioner would have to consider a slew of other factors.

So, as I mentioned at the beginning of this, if a practitioner is telling you that if you give eye contact, you can’t be autistic… that’s a major red flag. Run. Go find someone else who understands how to properly diagnose autism.

And if you find this type of content helpful… go check out some of my other videos… there’s a good chance you’ll find some more helpful content in there 😊