“Autistic people are cognitively inflexible”

Autistic people are way more flexible than we’re given credit for. In my personal experience (as a level 1 autistic person) I will flex instantly and without hesitation if I know there’s nothing anyone can do about the thing that’s triggering me (like in emergencies).

But if I think something CAN be done, I will get intense and overwhelming anxiety about the thing that’s triggering me until it’s removed or addressed… even if it seems small or inconsequential to others. 

For example I can and have managed in extreme discomfort when situations were outside of anyone’s control… like during travel when 90% of my sensory needs can’t be met… or during Covid when I didn’t have access to a lot of my comfort items. 

But in my day to day if something’s triggering me and it can be addressed through an accommodation… like someone lowering their music or not shaking their leg near me (yes, I know this is a stim for some people) I will often have a meltdown if the trigger isn’t addressed. 

Again, it’s not that I can’t be flexible… it’s that my brain understands that in some situations I have no choice but to suffer, yet manage through it… and in other situations there are other options. 

So it’s not that autistic people have a complete lack of flexibility all the time. It’s that knowing something CAN be done to address our needs (but isn’t) turns the anxiety we experience from our needs not being met into overwhelming and unbearable distress.