If you're learning about autism for the first time, it's most likely not what you think it is.

Autism can show up in obvious ways, but for a significant number of autistic people, you wouldn't know we're autistic just by looking at us. 

Let me explain why this happens...

Social skills: From a very young age, we learn to hide (aka mask) our discomfort in social situations. We also learn how to mimic others so we don't stand out. We end up seeming "weird" or "quirky" rather than having a social disability.

Special interests: We often become "obsessed" with our passions. But when we learn (the hard way) that people aren't interested in them and are even annoyed by us talking about them, we learn to limit what we share. (Even though it can feel painful to not talk about them).

Executive functioning: Many of us struggle to start important tasks, plan and organize important activities... and even struggle to do things we love to do. Outwardly, we appear lazy and unmotivated, but internally we're constantly fighting with our brains to just do things.

Stims (self-stimulatory behavior): We rock, we shake, we pick our skin and chew our nails, we bite our cheeks and twirl our hair. Most of us learn to hide the stims that would make us seem "odd" or stand out too much. But if you look closely, you'll probably see a few.

Sensory sensitivities: Most of us have extreme sensory sensitivities, but have learned through years of gaslighting ("it's not that bad, what are you talking about") to keep our mouths shut and suffer (and I do mean SUFFER) in silence.

Academic abilities: Because most autistic people don't have intellectual impairments, we typically do too well in school to be seen as needing support. And when our parents bring up our struggles, our schools point to our grades and tell them there's "nothing to worry about."

Which is why, for the vast majority of us, autism is a hidden disability. So if we're brave enough to push past the stigma and our long history of dismissive experiences to tell you we're autistic, even if we don't LOOK like we are... please believe us. It costs you nothing.