Autism and friendships. I was asked for a part 2, so here goes.

There’s a very specific autistic masking and friendship pipeline of a high masking autistic person that no one really talks about.

It goes like this…

Autistic kid behaves naturally and is immediately bullied, shunned & ostracized for their behavior because it’s considered weird/different/inappropriate/unacceptable, or some other negative thing.

Autistic kid adjusts behavior to fit in… unsuccessfully at first… and is still bullied, shunned, and ostracized.

Autistic kid continues adjusting behavior through trial and error…

It takes years and creates deep trauma… but eventually, they manage to fit in well enough to no longer be targeted (but have to mask constantly to blend in and remain safe)

Autistic pre-teen/teen/early adult begins to make friends through school and extracurricular activities.

Friendships work for a time… until life happens and friends move in different directions.

Autistic (now) adult tries to maintain friendships, but they slowly fade away in spite of their best efforts.

Autistic adult attempts to connect with others and build new friendships.

Autistic adult makes superficial friendships tied to work and social groups but struggles to develop deep and meaningful relationships… indefinitely.

The end.

Note… not all high masking autistic people struggle to find friends they connect with in deep/meaningful ways. But this is a common autistic experience and is included in the DSM as one of the main criteria of autism related to social communication challenges.

If you’re a high masking autistic person, I’d love to know if this describes what you experienced growing up…

And as always, follow for more.

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