An open letter to those hoping and waiting for an autism "cure"

To those hoping and waiting for a "cure" for autism, I'd like to explain a few things to you if you're open to listening... which I really hope you are.  

Autism is a brain wiring difference, which comes in many forms. 

Some are people like me (level 1, high masking, lower support needs) who don't "look" autistic at all. 

Some are people who need full time support and can't live on their own. 

And there are people on the "spectrum" (hence the term) everywhere in between.

You may look at an autistic person who needs full time support and think they have an "illness" or "disease" that needs to be "cured"... but I'm going to share some things with you that I hope will cause you to reconsider this perspective.

The reason autistic people like me and autistic people who need full time support are both considered autistic, is that we both share the same underlying challenges for the same underlying reasons (our autistic brain wiring).

- We both struggle to understand social "rules" and expectations.

- We both have "unusual" ways of interacting with others.

- We both have difficulty making friends and maintaining friendships .

- We both use repetitive movements to self sooth.

- We both have intense and specific ways of seeing the world in general. 

- We both have an intense need for sameness. (For comfort and self protection)

- We both have intense interests that shape how we see the world and how we 

communicate with those around us.

- We both have intense sensory sensitivities. (This one is particularly significant because it can feel like an assault on us and is relatively constant)

Where we differ, is in our ability to find ways (strategies) to get our needs met. 

But what you're seeing in people who require full time care is not a disease making them sick... one that can be eradicated. 

What you're seeing is a different way of processing the world that often leads to extreme distress. But not because we are diseased. 

Because our needs are simply not being met. 

And it's understandable why. We exist in the minority. The world has been built and structured around the needs of the majority. That's how we got here. But that's not where we have to stay.

And, more importantly, just because our way of existing isn't fully supported yet... doesn't mean we are diseased. 

This absolutely includes those of us who have the highest support needs.

These valid and deserving humans are NOT diseased. 

They are simply existing in the world differently. 

In ways that society hasn't fully figured out how to support yet. 

We HAVE figured out ways to support some of their needs. But, as a society, there's still a lot we don't know and understand.

So, many end up leaning into harmful coping strategies out of desperation... because that's the best they can do with what they currently have. 

This is not a criticism of them, their parents, or their other caregivers. 

It's just the reality we are living in right now.

But, here's the thing... because it pains me when I hear higher support needs being described as "destroying families."

Saying the autism that these humans have is "destroying families" is like saying infancy destroys families because infants can't get their own needs met without support and round the clock care. 

Looking at high support needs autism as a disease is misunderstanding reality. 

This type of autism is not something to be eradicated... just like infancy is not something to be eradicated. 

It's simply a part of human existence that needs and DESERVES to be supported.

And lastly... we learned many years ago that a person born LGBTQ+ cannot change the way their brain works. 

We learned that it's not an illness that can be cured. 

We learned that trying to force a person to be heterosexual causes SEVERE long term trauma and often leads to self harm or worse.

We are in a better place as a society now. 

But at what cost? 

Most of the people harmed in the process of looking for a "cure" for being gay are no longer alive to tell their story. 

To impress upon the world just how harmed they were by the way they were treated. 

But their pain, mistreatment... even torture... still happened. 

We did that to them as a society. 

Those people left the world tortured and tormented. And that can never be undone. 

But, as a society, we can learn from that painfully expensive lesson. 

We don't have to repeat the harm all over again. It's not inevitable. Not if we don't let it be.

So if you're wrong about autism like they were wrong about sexual orientation... if you continue treating autism as a disease and try to eradicate it like they tried to eradicate homosexuality through things like gay conversion therapy...

Just think of the harm we may end up causing... 

Real humans. 

Good humans. 

Kind humans. 

Wonderful humans. 

People who deserve to be seen and respected... as humans. 

Not people with diseases that are "destroying" families.

If you've made it to the end of this post with an open heart and mind... thank you. 

I hope you will take these thoughts with you and reconsider your perspective.