Pathological demand avoidance—a reframe

I don't think demand avoidance as it relates to autism is pathological. Even the specific kind many people say is different from “regular” demand avoidance.

This is similar to how I feel about autism and rigidity. 

Neither are features of autism itself or are directly caused by autistic brain wiring. 

Both are survival responses to unmet needs. Needs that ARE directly caused by autistic brain wiring.

In other words...

Autistic need (e.g. sensory balance) --> need becomes unmet (sensory overload) --> behavior (refusal to do what is being asked)

They are NOT...

- Just a feature of autism...

- "Just because" the brain is wired that way...

- "Just because" the brain doesn't like demands... 

- "Just because" the brain doesn't like to be told what to do...

In other words, if an autistic person's needs are completely met, you wouldn't see rigidity or "demand avoidance" at all.

Because both responses have a very specific function. To either ensure needs REMAIN met, or ensure unmet needs BECOME met. 

If an autistic person is having either response, rigidity or "demand avoidance"... it's not because they "can't help it." It's because their brain knows something everyone else doesn't.

And if everyone else knew what the autistic brain did, there would be no confusion regarding the reaction. 

It would be perfectly clear and understandable.

This is not pathological behavior. 

This is logical behavior... because it's a logical response to an unmet need. 

And as I keep saying over and over again, autistic needs are human needs. 

What's different is how quickly, frequently, and intensely our brains react to our needs not being met. 

If a nonautistic person experienced the same intensity as an autistic person does when their needs aren't met, they would likely have the exact same, or very similar reaction as autistic people.

We need to stop talking about these behaviors as pathological, and start talking about them in ways that describe what they actually are... an indication that a need is either going unmet, or is at risk of becoming unmet.

P.s. This is a philosophical conversation. I'm sharing my opinions from the perspective of philosophy, human existence, and the autistic (level 1) lived experience.

P.p.s. I'm an autistic philosopher of human difference. If you like this type of content, you should stick around. I talk a lot about this kind of thing. 😊