The Survival Realm & self-implosion

I realized something about autism today... something that I think is pretty huge...

The opposite of autistic self-actualization (when we're at peak peace/fulfillment/happiness) is autistic self-implosion... and I actually think it's a continuum. 

So, as our needs are going unmet, we're shifting farther and farther away from peace/fulfillment/happiness and closer and closer to self-implosion. 

Which happens when our needs have gone unmet for so long that our minds and bodies go into crisis mode and become hijacked by our nervous system... and we're completely mentally and emotionally debilitated.

To be clear, what I'm talking about goes way beyond autistic meltdowns and shutdowns... and beyond autistic burnout (all of which exist on the same continuum).

What I'm describing is the most extreme version of them. When we've reached a complete internal collapse and our brains and bodies can no longer function. 

Example... when I was 34, I had a heart event that the doctors called a stress induced heart attack. 

I know now (I was undiagnosed at the time) that this was the direct result of my autistic needs not being met for an extended period of time... probably close to a year.

This is what it means to be autistic with unmet needs that go unmet indefinitely. 

Not unmet wants. Unmet NEEDS.

Not... I want a bit of extra legroom on a plane for comfort, but I NEED extra room or I will be in extreme distress for the entire flight. 

Not... I don't want to eat that food because I don't like it, but I CAN'T eat that food because it will put my mind and body into a full on panic.

Not... I "rigidly" follow the same routine every day because I'm irrational, but...

I NEED to follow the same routine every day so I'm not completely overcome with anxiety when my brain perceives a threat because changes often trigger my sensory sensitivities.

And when these seemingly "small" or "insignificant" needs go unmet for a long time... our brains and bodies literally go into crisis mode, and eventually completely shut down... or what I'm referring to as implosion.

I know this sounds extreme and melodramatic, but I assure you... this is real.

I suspect most autistic people have experienced this at some point. But I have never seen anyone connect these particular dots before... not in this way.

And I feel like this description and explanation could take autism awareness to a whole other level.