Why internalized autism is hurting so many of us

Why internalized autism is hurting so many of us. 

A timeline. 

We do things. We experience consequences for those things. We mask.

Autistic masking hides autistic behaviors so they aren't visible, which results in autistic needs not being met because they are also hidden.

(An example of a hidden/unmet need is suffering through sensory triggers because any reaction we previously had resulted in some type of negative consequence.)

The mask is an intentional choice at first. But it's an extremely labor intensive one. Keeping it on is HARD. It can even be painful.

We go in and out of masking at first. But every time we stop masking, there are negative consequences. So we learn it's unsafe to NOT mask and that we need to keep it on at all times for safety.

At this point, many of our needs are unmet on a regular basis. But we learn to live with it. And because it's all we know, we don't realize it's not what everyone else is experiencing too.

Internalization of autism happens when our needs continue going unmet for so long that we have to accept that this is just the reality for us. 

At this point, the masking has become a part of our autistic experience. Masking is no longer the choice. UNmasking is. And it is now just as hard to remove the mask as it once was to keep it on.

Internalized autism also takes a BIG toll on the mind and body given that many of our most critical needs have gone unmet for so long. 

This causes long term stress (mental and physiological), which then causes our mind and body to no longer function properly. 

This is when extreme physical symptoms (e.g. heart issues) start to show up.

We need to stop talking about studies that tell us nothing about autism and turn our focus back to the ones that do... 

Because real autistic people are being overlooked while hypothetical people are prioritized (and the research isn't even saying anything conclusive or helpful about them at this point).

We need to refocus our energy because millions of real, struggling, many suffering autistic people are depending on us.

Now.

Not later.

The end.