An SPD Storytime
I just spent most of the night awake because I'm sleeping in my daughters' bedroom, and though they are fast asleep and haven't woken up once, they are sick and snoring like crazy... and my brain literally can't tune it out. (We have guests and I don't have anywhere else to sleep tonight.)
This is Sensory Processing Disorder for you. One example of it anyway. My brain literally does not have the capacity to tune out certain noises, and it gives me major anxiety. It's a sensory modulation issue and it impacts me every day in various ways (not just related to sound). As a child, without any understanding of this or the words to explain it... MELTDOWN CITY.
I'm sharing this with you all because it is more than likely some of you have children with SPD and don't know it. I've been a parent for over 7 years now, and I have seen countless meltdown related posts from desperate and distraught moms (my fb parenting groups tend to be filled with more moms than dads)... 95% of the advice that I have read goes something along the lines of "oh, that's normal behavior for that age." Well, maybe it seems that way... because SPD is as common as ADHD, but most families don't know about it (because doctors aren't talking about it).
I was talking with a mom from one of my parenting groups yesterday who has seen some of my posts about my SPD and was asking for advice about her daughter. So. I'm going to share some of that here because I don't want this post to potentially help you identify SPD but then leave you wondering what to actually DO about it.
Before I go on... this is specifically about sensory avoiding behaviors, not sensory seeking behaviors (though most SPD children have a bit of both). But, this is more about children with sensory avoiding SPD who have meltdowns because they don't have any comprehension of what's going on or words to explain it.
1. Don't freak out (this is hard)
2. Try and get to the bottom of what is really going on. Are they getting undressed immediately after you put them in clothes, are they freaking out about the elastic bands in their clothing (this was me), are they refusing to eat...?
3. Find ways to completely remove the triggering thing or drown it out (I sleep with a fan every night to drown out the noises around me... in extreme cases, like last night, I sleep with headphone on that are playing music... it doesn't give me quality sleep, but it does give me some. Unfortunately for me, my headphones are Bluetooth and they lost charge in middle of the night. Hence barely any sleep.)
4. Meet them where they are... don't try and get them to act in ways you think they should be acting. They literally do not have control of the way their brain is processing sensory Inputs. You can't convince them to stop being bothered by their socks, the texture of their food, whatever the case may be. It just doesn't work that way. (If I could completely remove my own sensory sensitivities by sheer will, I would do it in an instant.)
5. Don't yell... it will not help. (Trust me, this is not a judgement... I have resorted to yelling myself, so I totally get it. But... honestly, it just doesn't work.)
6. If you have a spouse or co-parent who doesn't understand SPD, educate them so they can do all of the above too.
Oh, and if you are an adult with sensory avoiding SPD, #s 2 and 3 will help you as well. Also #6.
I hope this helps some of you.