The neurodivergent crisis no one is talking about

There's a pipeline for internalized neurodivergence that no one is talking about. So I will.

You're born.

You have a brain wiring difference.

Because the world isn't built to meet your needs, as soon as they show up, they are unmet.

Your "regular" needs are met (food, shelter, clothes, etc) but not your neurodivergent-related ones.

This results in you being a highly dysregulated kid.

Not because you're "sensitive"... because you're anxious. 

All the time. 

Because your needs are constantly going unmet.

Your dysregulation is considered "acceptable" at first (only really early on) because you're a cute baby or little kid.

But as soon as you enter school, your behavior is suddenly seen as problematic. Even "bad."

Schools start to discipline you through punishment. 

Peers start to mistreat you.

This gets worse and worse, until one day, you're being actively mistreated on a regular basis.

In many cases, this includes mistreatment by your school administration. (Which was my experience, sadly.)

If you're lucky, your parents are not contributing to the mistreatment... but many neurodivergent humans aren't so lucky.  

So you learn to hide your anxiety and mask your needs. 

Sometimes you are successful, and you find ways to overcompensate so you even appear to thrive.

But in most cases, your best efforts just result in less mistreatment... 

Not your needs actually getting met... 

Because no one has a clue you even have them.

And life goes on.

But the longer your needs go unmet, the more anxious you become.

You look "completely normal" to everyone else, but you are living in a constant and oppressive state of internalized anxiety.

And eventually, this starts to have serious mental health consequences. 

As your mental health continues to decline, your physical health starts to decline too. And you start having chronic physical health issues.

And because the world is still not built to support you, there's nothing (in the way of systems) to help you get out of the terrifying spiral you're on.

So your mind and body continue to get worse.

And worse.

Until, one day, you reach a point of intolerable desperation. 

For some this leads to self-harm, su*c*dal ideation, or worse.

But for many, it's just a lifelong intolerable existence until they are no longer here. Whenever that day arrives.

Now I want to be clear...

This is NOT an inevitable reality for neurodivergent humans. 

Many of us are extremely lucky to get the support we need to thrive.

But this IS an all too common neurodivergent experience. 

(And by neurodivergent, I mean anyone with ANY brain wiring difference. This is not exclusive to neurodevelopmental ones.)

And the only way this changes is if SYSTEMS change.

Unfortunately, the situation is far too vast and complex to address in a single social media post. 

But I do believe it's helpful, even crucial, to lay this reality out. 

Explicitly. 

Because not enough people are even aware this problem exists.

And the only way to solve a problem is to first be aware that the problem exists.

One step at a time.

P.s. To be clear, this post is not about blaming individual people (parents, educators, nonautistic peers)... it's about calling attention to SYSTEMIC issues that I believe we have a moral obligation to address as a society.

Thank you for reading.